[교환학생] 영어 작문 연습2 - 10월 1일 일기

1. 본문

Weekly diary (origin paragraph)

 Last Saturday, October 1st, I woke at 12 o’clock to participate in Homecoming parade which will hold in Mainstreet. I met Katsunori and Taiyo in front of the residence, and we went to the Mainstreet. When we arrived at there, it is too late to join this parade. So, I just watched it with my friends. Watching this parade in Mainstreet, I was sad at first because I couldn’t join this. I thought that it would be great experience if I were in there. But faced with various things to see, my perspective was changed. I would never see this scenery if I joined this parade.

 This parade was very impressed to me especially attitude of people in this party. Most impressed thing is that no one condemned others even parade was delayed because of kids. all of people in Homecoming parade just enjoyed this party. If this party held in Korea, they would condemn all of things. They will say that this parade destroyed environment and wasted candy. They will say that this parade was not safe to kids. They will say that this parade use disabled and old people for success.

 I thought that people in my home country are deficient in respect to others. They are willing to blame others, at the same time, they restrict themselves to avoid other peoples’ criticizing. That is mean that lack of respect for others lead to take away freedom of expression. This would be worse to Korean because they should control their all of behavior anytime and anywhere for avoid them. Therefore, I suggest them to be generous all of things they can see, hear, and speak. They should know that happiness will begin respect.

 

 

Weekly diary on October 1, 2022 (revised paragraph)

 Last Saturday, October 1st, I woke at 12 o’clock to participate in the Homecoming parade which was held on  Mainstreet. I met Katsunori and Taiyo in front of the residence, and we went to Mainstreet Moscow. When we arrived there, it was too late to join this parade. So, I just watched it with my friends. Watching this parade on Mainstreet, I was sad at first because I couldn’t join this. I thought that it would be a great experience if I were in the parade. But faced with various things to see, my perspective changed. I would never see this scenery if I joined this parade.

 This parade was very impressive to me especially because of the attitude of people watching the parade. The most impressive thing was that no one condemned others because the parade was delayed by kids. All of the people watching the Homecoming parade just enjoyed it. If this parade was held in Korea, they would condemn certain actions. They will say that the people messed up the street and wasted candy. They will say that this parade was not safe for kids. They will say that this parade used the disabled and old people who were participating in the parade for success.

 I think, in this case, that people in my home country are deficient in respect for others. They are willing to blame others for actions they consider inappropriate. At the same time, they are careful to avoid doing anything that would cause other people to criticize them. This means that lack of respect for others leads to losing freedom of expression. The loss of freedom would be worse to a Korean because it forces them to control their behavior everywhere to avoid criticism. Therefore, I suggest to them that they be considerate of all things they see, hear, and speak. They should know that respect lead to happiness.

 

 

 

2. 반성할 점

- to, for, with를 적절하게 사용하지 못했다

- 영어는 구체적으로 설명해야 하는 언어임을 잊지 말자.